Spy Jokes

What's Richard Nixon's favorite game?

I spy.

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What's the NSA's favourite game?

I spy.

What do you call a spy that likes to spend time with his son?

James Bonding bah dun tss

Why did the spy stay in bed?

To stay under cover

Who is both a knight and a spy?

Sir Veillance

Why did the spy cross the road?

Because he never really was on your side.

Where do Russian Spy's live?

In a Snow Den. (This is a joke. Please refrain from yelling at me, that he is not a spy. Thank you and have a nice day.)

What does the US Government use to spy on a high school student?

An essay.

How do spies send secret messages in a forest?

A: By moss code.

Why does James Bond keep telling people his real name?

Worst. Spy. Ever.

Why do spies never use capitalization?

They like to stay low-key.

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What do the Chinese call their spies?

Secret Asians.

Why did the spy steal the laptop?

It had a sticker that said 'intel inside'.

Why did the spy cross the border?

Because he never really was on your side.

What do you call it when a book spies on people?

A: A peeping tome.

What kind of spy hangs out in department stores?

A: A counter spy.

What do you like to do in your free time?

Guy: I spy on people. Girl: Really I like to take long walks in the park and go to the movies with my friends. Guy: I know.

What do spies say in bed?

Shh I'm undercovers

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Canada Jokes More Canada Jokes

What borders on silly?

Mexico &amp Canada

How do you spell Canada?

C-Eh?-N-Eh?-D-Eh?

Cataract Jokes More Cataract Jokes

What do blind people drive?

A cataract.

What did little Suzy spy with her little eye?

A cataract.

Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why did the girl take a ruler to bed?

She wanted to see how long she slept.

What does a psychologist wear to bed?

A Freudian slip.

Essay Jokes More Essay Jokes

Why did the Mexican school girl get pregnant?

Here teacher said to go home and do her "essay".

What do you call a little Mexican child?

A paragraph, because he's too short to be an essay.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What did the hat say to the other hat?

You stay here. I'll go on a head.

What do you call a fruit that stays up very late to study for tests?

A: A cramberry.

Russian Spy Jokes More Russian Spy Jokes

What do you call a secret agent running for the bus?

A Russian spy.

Where do Russian Spy's live?

In a Snow Den. (This is a joke. Please refrain from yelling at me, that he is not a spy. Thank you and have a nice day.)

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What's pink and wrinkly and hangs out your boxer shorts?

Your grandma.

How does Trent Reznor's mom hang up his Christmas stocking?

With a Nine Inch Nail.

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

What time do dentists fly airplanes?

Tooth Hurty (2:30)

Why is Peter Pan always flying?

Because he Neverlands.