Spy Jokes

What's Richard Nixon's favorite game?

I spy.

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What's the NSA's favourite game?

I spy.

What do you call a spy that likes to spend time with his son?

James Bonding bah dun tss

Why did the spy stay in bed?

To stay under cover

Who is both a knight and a spy?

Sir Veillance

Why did the spy cross the road?

Because he never really was on your side.

Where do Russian Spy's live?

In a Snow Den. (This is a joke. Please refrain from yelling at me, that he is not a spy. Thank you and have a nice day.)

What does the US Government use to spy on a high school student?

An essay.

How do spies send secret messages in a forest?

A: By moss code.

Why does James Bond keep telling people his real name?

Worst. Spy. Ever.

Why do spies never use capitalization?

They like to stay low-key.

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What do the Chinese call their spies?

Secret Asians.

Why did the spy steal the laptop?

It had a sticker that said 'intel inside'.

Why did the spy cross the border?

Because he never really was on your side.

What do you call it when a book spies on people?

A: A peeping tome.

What kind of spy hangs out in department stores?

A: A counter spy.

What do you like to do in your free time?

Guy: I spy on people. Girl: Really I like to take long walks in the park and go to the movies with my friends. Guy: I know.

What do spies say in bed?

Shh I'm undercovers

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Russian Spy Jokes More Russian Spy Jokes

Where do Russian Spy's live?

In a Snow Den. (This is a joke. Please refrain from yelling at me, that he is not a spy. Thank you and have a nice day.)

What do you call a secret agent running for the bus?

A Russian spy.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

Why are men afraid of the world?

They spend 9 months trying to get out of a woman and the rest of their life trying to get back in.

How many triage nurses does it take to change a light bulb?

One but the bulb will have to spend four hours in the waiting room.

Richard Nixon Jokes More Richard Nixon Jokes

What's Richard Nixon's favorite game?

I spy.

What did Richard Nixon say after he tried to make dinner at the White House for the first time?

I am not a cook

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

What do women and fly wire have in common?

The more you bang them, the looser they get.

How do you picture yourself flying on a broom?

A: By witchful thinking.

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

How did the Neanderthal dad teach his son how to wear underwear?

Color coded: "Yellow in front, brown in the back"

Who, dad?

Your dog, son. I hit your dog with the car.

Cover Jokes More Cover Jokes

What covers the outside of a dogwood tree?

Bark.

What did the Japanese Journey covers band sing at the funeral?

Don't stop, bereaving!

Knight Jokes More Knight Jokes

How do you call a robber in a suit of armor?

A thief in the knight

Where did the Knights of the Round Table park their horses?

In the Sir Lance Lot

Government Jokes More Government Jokes

What's the difference between Polio and 9/11?

The government actually wanted to stop Polio.

What do you call a spider that wants to overthrow the government?

An anarchid.