Why did your sister cut a hole in her new umbrella ?

Because she wanted to be able to tell when it stopped raining.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

How badly?

ME: I want you checking thesaurus in a panic haphazardly

How can we build this?

A business major asks, "How can we finance this " A liberal arts major asks, "Do you want fries with that "

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What is your emergency?

Me: I love you. 911: Hang up. Me: No you hang up. 911: Stop. Me: This is so us.

How do you get a Mormon to stop drinking all of your alcohol?

Invite two of them.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell a blonde is being unfaithful?

A: Everybody in the neighborhood is going to the pharmacy for penicillin.

What did the author tell his publisher when he handed him a 600 pages instead of the 200 the publisher had asked for?

Sorry, I overwrote your order. :-)

Hole Jokes More Hole Jokes

What's the sharpest thing in the word?

A fart. It goes right through your pants and doesn't leave a hole.

How do you stop your dog digging holes in your garden?

By hiding the shovel in the shed/garage

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

Why has Hot Topic's sales revenue gone down?

Because the marketing department cuts itself.

What do you call a digital video recorder that cuts down trees and builds dams?

A bvr

Sister Jokes More Sister Jokes

What did Josh say when asked if his sister was good in bed?

I Duggar."

What did the little cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe?

My toe sis!

Rain Jokes More Rain Jokes

What do snake charmers do in the rain?

Turn on their windshield vipers.

Why did the haunted house not like rain?

A: Because it dampened his spirits.