What is your emergency?

Me: I love you. 911: Hang up. Me: No you hang up. 911: Stop. Me: This is so us.

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Why does it take 100 million sperms to fertilize one egg?

Because they won't stop to ask directions.

What's the difference between a cry baby and Dallas Cowboys fans?

Eventually the baby stops crying

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

Why is that bear hanging out in the bar?

ME: He's a well known, gimmick. IAN: Really ME: That's Conan. Conan The Bar Bear, Ian.

Why don't drug addicts hang out at the beach?

They don't like getting sand in their crack.

911 Jokes More 911 Jokes

How many years before we forget if 9/11 was in '00 or '01?

15 or 16

What's your emergency, sir?

Me: I'm being taken away by ducks! I'm being- 911: Please don't do this, sir M: AbDUCKted! 911: *hangs up*

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Which football team loves ice-cream?

Aston Vanilla!

What type of monster really loves dance music?

A: The boogieman.

Emergency Jokes More Emergency Jokes

Whats the emergency?

My wife is suffocating me -Literally or figuratively sir Well thats a stupid question. How would I be talking

What does an helicopter and pants have in common?

They both moust go down in emergency.