What is your emergency?

Me: I love you. 911: Hang up. Me: No you hang up. 911: Stop. Me: This is so us.

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you stop an Italian from talking?

Tie his hands together

What did the vampire do to stop his son biting his nails ?

He cut all his fingers off !

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

Where do criminal spiders hang out?

The deep web

Why did Chris Benoit quit wrestling?

He wanted to hang with his family.

911 Jokes More 911 Jokes

What is your location?

Me: And you're to blame 911: Pardon Me: You give love a bad name 911: I'm hanging up

What's the difference between PirateBay and 9/11?

One is piracy and the other is CONSpiracy

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What sort of aircraft does the Asian pilot who loves to greet people fly?

A herrocopter

What's the same about Mexican and Black people?

Once you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal. (Sorry if you're offended, I love all races.)

Emergency Jokes More Emergency Jokes

Whats ur emergency?

OMG my neighbours cat is stuck on the roof-" 911: Ma'am, this is an emergency only service- "-of my sons mouth."

What's ur emergency?

Goldfish: I forgot Goldfish 911: Forgot what Goldfish: WHO IS THIS Goldfish 911: I DON'T KNOW