Why don't hypochondriacs... Why don't hypochondriacs use lighters?

They're afraid of catching fire!

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of its cage?

Camembert

Why did the fastest animal on earth got disqualified on the race?

Because it is using steroids.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Why was the mathematician fired?

Because he was sur to requirements.

What did he say?

Me: "You're fired".

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

What do you call two Mormons caught in the rain?

Washing your whites on a rinsed cycle.

Why was the necrophiliac fired from the crematory?

He was caught spreading remains before they were cremated.

Hypochondriac Jokes More Hypochondriac Jokes

Why do health magazines targeting hypochondriacs have so much trouble maintaining subscriber levels?

Because none of their readers believe them when they receive a warning that it's their final issue.

What do you call someone with March Madness who doesn't even like basketball?

A hypochondriac

Lighter Jokes More Lighter Jokes

Why don't hypochondriacs... Why don't hypochondriacs use lighters?

They're afraid of catching fire!

Why do stoners carry lighters everywhere?

Because they don't have legs to walk, man.