Hypochondriac Jokes

Why do health magazines targeting hypochondriacs have so much trouble maintaining subscriber levels?

Because none of their readers believe them when they receive a warning that it's their final issue.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why is it so easy to trust a hypochondriac?

Because none of their plans are ill-conceived.

What do you call someone with March Madness who doesn't even like basketball?

A hypochondriac

Why don't hypochondriacs... Why don't hypochondriacs use lighters?

They're afraid of catching fire!

You might also enjoy:

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

When I walked to the register with the condoms the clerk asked "Would you like a bag?

I replied "No, she's not that ugly"

Why doesn't Ganondorf like going on the internet?

There are too many Links.

Believe Jokes More Believe Jokes

What religion still believes in the Big Bang?

x-post from /r/imgoingtohellforthis Islam

What did the police officer say to the midget complaining that someone picked his pocket?

I can't believe someone would stoop so low.

Maintain Jokes More Maintain Jokes

What's the difference between hardware and software?

Hardware breaks if you maintain it.

What's the difference between polite conversation and an erection?

I can maintain polite conversation.

Lighter Jokes More Lighter Jokes

Why don't hypochondriacs... Why don't hypochondriacs use lighters?

They're afraid of catching fire!

Why do stoners carry lighters everywhere?

Because they don't have legs to walk, man.

Reader Jokes More Reader Jokes

How to keep a reader in suspense?

removed

Why do health magazines targeting hypochondriacs have so much trouble maintaining subscriber levels?

Because none of their readers believe them when they receive a warning that it's their final issue.

Basketball Jokes More Basketball Jokes

What does a Chihuahua play basketball with?

A tennis ball!

Why hasn't Nintendo released a Mario themed basketball video game?

Because Japan isn't good at basketball.

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

What do you say when you catch a deer with no eyes?

I have no-eye-deer! (Unless you're a dad, you may need to sound it out)

Why did the railroad thief get caught?

He forgot to cover his tracks! im

Target Jokes More Target Jokes

Why couldn't the BMW fit into a narrow parking stall at Target?

because it was being driven by a woman

Why does Iraq have no Walmarts?

Because there's a Target on every corner.