How do you make a cat sounds like a dog?

Douse it in gasoline and set it on fire. !

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What's the difference between a wife and a dog?

The later you get home, the happier one is to see you

Why do dogs wag their tails ?

Because no one else will do it for them !"

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

Who should get the cat?

I don't know...let's see who he loves the most" 3 weeks later Can you tell "Nope"

How can a cat walk with no feet?

He can't, it's impawsible.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Why did they fire the contract lawyer with lazy eye?

He was always dotting his T's and crossing his I's. (I made up this joke myself)

Why was the teenage girl fired from her job at the casino?

Because SHE JUST CAN'T DEAL

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

What sound does a pubic hair make right before it hits the floor?

Ptui"

What sound does a Baroque chicken make?

Bach Bach Bach Bach

Set Jokes More Set Jokes

What is atheism?

A non-prophet religion Edit: Replace the word "religion" with "set of beliefs" if you're picky about that sort of thing

What do people say when you win a game in Egypt?

Game, *Set,* and match.

Gasoline Jokes More Gasoline Jokes

How much of a raise do you need to get the job done?

About five gallons of gasoline," I replied.

What does gasoline taste like?

I don't know, I'm in a coma.

Douse Jokes More Douse Jokes

How do you make a cat go "woof"?

Douse it with petrol and toss a lit match. WOOF!

How do you make a cat go 'woof'?

Douse it in gasoline and set it alight.