Why is marriage like thin toilet paper?

Because you end up with a ring on your finger.

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End Jokes More End Jokes

How do you end an argument with a woman?

Tell her to calm down. You're dead now but the argument is over.

What is the worst thing about getting hit in the face with PI?

It never ends.

Finger Jokes More Finger Jokes

What did the vampire do to stop his son biting his nails ?

He cut all his fingers off !

How many fingers does the dragonborn have?

8 fingers and 2 Thu"ums... Unless the dragonborn only has a Haafingar

Ring Jokes More Ring Jokes

What do hand grenades and wives have in common?

Remove the ring and your house is gone.

Why couldn't Frodo drop the Ring into Mt. Doom?

Force of Hobbit.

Marriage Jokes More Marriage Jokes

What's common between Marriage &amp a Port-a-potty?

There are those who are waiting to get in it and then you have those wanting too get out of it.

What two words result in the most marriages?

Screw it. EDIT: has a better answer lol