What do you want for your birthday this year?

Vanessa: I want a divorce! Kobe: I wasn't planning on spending that much this year. Here's another ring.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do you call someone you want to be stepped on by?

A crush crush

What quality does Elon Musk look for in a woman?

He just wants her to be down to Mars

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

What is the difference between a BMW and a baby carriage?

The baby carriage is the result of last year's fun on wheels.

What do men and tile floors have in common?

if you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

Why was the teacher arrested for writing in permanent marker?

He wrote "1 + 0 = 0" and then spent the rest of the lesson trying to rub one out...

Why do black people spend so much on their shoes?

You would to if you had such a long walk home.

Plan Jokes More Plan Jokes

How many NBA finals does Lebron plan on losing?

not 1 not 2 not 3 not 4 not 5 not 6 not 7

How does NASA plan a party..?

They planet.

Divorce Jokes More Divorce Jokes

What's the difference between a divorce and a tornado in the south?

Nothing. Either way someone is going to lose a trailer

What did the coffee shop owner's wife say when she discovered he wasn't using Free Trade beans?

That's grounds for divorce!"

Ring Jokes More Ring Jokes

Why was the Lego boxer unmatched in the ring?

He was a master of blocking attacks.

Who should have played Bilbo Baggins in Lord of the Rings?

Bruce Willis. Because old hobbits die hard.

Birthday Jokes More Birthday Jokes

How did the Norse god of mischief celebrate his birthday?

With a low-key event

What did the white high school dropout get for his birthday?

A legacy scholarship for his second choice school

Kobe Jokes More Kobe Jokes

What do you get when you get in a fight with the Los Angeles Lakers lead point scorer?

Kobe beef

Why did Lamar give money to Kobe?

Because Lamar Odom