Funeral Director Jokes

What did the funeral director do with Alan Turing's dead body?

He encrypted it

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What does the funeral director say to the 11am service goers?

Mournin'

Why did the funeral director cover his mouth?

he kept coffin

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How do you make a cat bark like a dog?

Cover it in lighter fluid and throw a match at it: "WOOF!"

Why did the spy stay in bed?

To stay under cover

Mouth Jokes More Mouth Jokes

What is the difference between memory and ram?

I can't memory my weiner in your mouth.

Why is Monica Lewinsky going to vote Republican this year?

Last time she tried Democrat it left a bad taste in her mouth.

11 Jokes More 11 Jokes

What was the end scored?

Player: "1:1"

Why is 11 afraid of 9?

Because ten, nine ate!

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What would Joan Rivers be doing if she was alive right now?

Scratching at the inside of her coffin. Courtesy of my dad.

Why did the man with bronchitis get cremated..?

he was tired of coffin.

Alan Ture Jokes More Alan Ture Jokes

What do Alan Turing and a well-mixed solution have in common?

They're both homo-genius.

What did the funeral director do with Alan Turing's dead body?

He encrypted it