Performer Jokes

What happened to the performer who read poetry to terminally ill patients?

He suffered an elegiac reaction.

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What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire?

How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on thanksgiving)

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Lizard Jokes More Lizard Jokes

What do you call it when a lizard has problems in the bedroom?

A reptile dysfunction

Why don't snakes have legs?

Because otherwise they'd be lizards.

Remainder Jokes More Remainder Jokes

How many members of a certain demographic group does it take to perform a specified task?

A finite number: one to perform the task and the remainder to act in a manner stereotypical of the group in question.

What walks on 8 legs until it's one years old, 4 legs until it's twenty years old and then 2 legs for the remainder of it's life?

Fred and George Weasley.

Reptile Dysfunction Jokes More Reptile Dysfunction Jokes

What's wrong with a chameleon that can't change colors?

He has a reptile dysfunction.

What do you call a reptile that can't grow its tail back?

A Reptile Dysfunction.

Acid Jokes More Acid Jokes

Why can't acids argue well?

All their statements are baseless.

What do you call three brothers taking acid together?

Triplets

Drunk Jokes More Drunk Jokes

What's the difference between a drunk and a stoner?

A drunk drives right through a stop sign, a stoner waits for it to turn green.

Which has less drunks: an Irish wedding or an Irish funeral?

An Irish funeral has one less drunk.

Problem Jokes More Problem Jokes

What did the maths homework website say to the geometry website?

Boy do we have problems.

What's the problem with radioactive underpants?

Chernobyl fall out..

Task Jokes More Task Jokes

How many members of an ethnicity does it take to perform a specified task?

A finite number! One member to perform the task, and the rest to behave in a manner stereotypical to the ethnicity in question.

How many members of a certain demographic group does it take to perform a specified task?

A finite number: one to perform the task and the remainder to act in a manner stereotypical of the group in question.

Mentally Handicapped Kid Jokes More Mentally Handicapped Kid Jokes

What do you call group of mentally handicapped kids at a performance of "Peter Pan"?

Slow Children At Play

What did the mentally handicapped kid get on his math test?

Drool