Performer Jokes

What happened to the performer who read poetry to terminally ill patients?

He suffered an elegiac reaction.

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What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire?

How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on thanksgiving)

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Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

What is loud and sounds like "apple"?

scream) APPLE!!!

What sound does a pubic hair make right before it hits the floor?

Ptui"

Peter Pan Jokes More Peter Pan Jokes

Why was Peter Pan a bad boxer?

His punches Neverland.

What's Peter Pan's favorite restaurant?

A: Wendy's!

Act Jokes More Act Jokes

What do you get when you cross dancing and an act of god?

Deus Ex Macarena

Why did the magician always use trap doors during his act?

It was juts a stage he was going through.

Perform Jokes More Perform Jokes

What did the veterinarian performing canine reproductive surgery say to the veterinarian with over productive saliva disorder?

Spay it don't spray it.

Why wasn't Michael Jackson allowed to perform at the children's hospital?

Because he is dead. ((I came up with this joke when I was very tired.))

Rest Jokes More Rest Jokes

What happens to the water level in the aquarium when one of the fish dies?

It rises because the rest of the fishes are crying :'(

Why does a bride wear white?

So the dishwasher matches the rest of the appliances.

Magic Trick Jokes More Magic Trick Jokes

What do you say when a Polish magician performs a magic trick?

Nailed it

what do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?

a labracadabrador

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when a guy with no legs dies?

He punches the bucket

What happens when Frogs die playing Call of Duty?

They respawn.

Polish Jokes More Polish Jokes

What do Polish arctic researchers do at elections?

They have a polar pole poll.

What do you do when you stumble upon a one-armed Polish man stuck in a tree?

You wave!