Finally realized why my plant sits around doing nothing all day...

He loves his pot.

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why didn't the mother splinter call her son on his birth-day?

Because he's a little prick!

What does Andre 3000's menorah look like on the last day of Hanukkah?

ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why did the melon get married in a church?

Because he was in love with a cantaloupe.

What's the difference between love, pure love and excessive love?

Blowing Swallowing Gargeling

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

How are you baby?

I am in bed and thinking about you ... And you my dear - I am at a club ... And sitting right behind you!!

What did the baby chick say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange ?

Dad dad look what marma-laid' !

Pot Jokes More Pot Jokes

Why did all of Britain stop smoking pot?

Because they all joined

What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water?

It might take a while for me to get hard, I was just laid by a chick.

Plant Jokes More Plant Jokes

How do you grow a cow?

Plant its nuts.

What did the little acorn say when it got planted and grew up?

Geometry.

Realize Jokes More Realize Jokes

Why did the guy cut a hole in his carpet?

He wanted to watch the floor show. And why did he cover it back up ...He realized that he didn't want to watch the "hole" show.

What do you have when you just used the toilet and realized there's no toilet paper?

A real mess on your hands.