How can you tell two people are married?

Both are yelling at the same kid.

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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What did Pat Benatar say to the kid throwing cereal at her?

Stop using Chex as a weapon!

Why is Santa always happy?

Because he knows where the naughty girls live. (a kid told me this one)

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why do people carry around umbrellas?

Because they can't carry themselves

Why do people walk by and say "Hi, how are you?

but they don't stop long enough for you to reply!

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What is your favorite knick knock joke?

Do tell.

How do I know?

They have already told everybody about 6 times in 5 minutes

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

What do you call two fruits that can't get married?

Cantaloupes

Why couldn't the Dairy Queen have any kids?

Because she married Mr. Softy!

Yell Jokes More Yell Jokes

What do you yell when a woman falls of a boat?

Full speed ahead

What did Matthew McConaughey yell at the drive that was about to miss his turn?

A right a right a right!