How can you tell two people are married?

Both are yelling at the same kid.

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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What did Jared Fogle say when his wife told him she wanted kids?

Me too*

What did Lochte say after his teammates told the police what really happened?

and I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you medaling kids!"

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why should you never ask people with Down Syndrome to use a printer?

They always make an extra copy

What do people in florida do when their car breaks down?

Build a house next to it.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if someone is Italian?

They'll tell you.

Why can't Harry Potter tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best friend?

Because they're both cauldron

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

What did Jay-Z call Beyonce before they were married?

Fiancee

Why doesn't the melon get married?

Because it cantaloupe.

Yell Jokes More Yell Jokes

What would Ronald Reagan be doing if he were alive today?

He'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, "Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"

How many spoiled rich girls does it take... ...to change a light bulb?

Just one, she yells, "DAAAAADDY, I need a new house!"