How do you get someone with a doctorate in philosophy to leave your house?

Just pay for your pizza.

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Where do you find a dog with no legs?

Where you left it

Why does Mexico never win the Olympics?

Because anyone who can run, jump, or swim already left.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

How many of my parents does it take to mow the lawn?

None. They pay me to do it.

What's the difference between a chickpea and a lima bean?

I've never paid to have a lima bean on my chest.

House Jokes More House Jokes

When is paint free?

When it's on the house.

Why did Rembrandt lose his house?

Because he was *Baroque*.

Pizza Jokes More Pizza Jokes

What do dwarves use to cut their pizza?

Little Caesars

How do you get an art major off your front porch?

Pay for the pizza!

Philosophy Jokes More Philosophy Jokes

What do you call the corner of the market that specializes in philosophy?

A Nietzsche market!

How do you get a philosophy major off of your porch?

Pay for the pizza.

Doctorate Jokes More Doctorate Jokes

How do you get someone with a doctorate in philosophy to leave your house?

Just pay for your pizza.

What do you call a Tungsten Holmium compound with a Doctorate?

Doctor WHo