How do you get someone with a doctorate in philosophy to leave your house?

Just pay for your pizza.

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why is India surprised by the Brexit vote?

They didn't know you could get Britain to leave by voting.

What time does Sean Connery leave to go to Wimbledon?

Tennish.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

What's the difference between a PC gamer and a console player?

One spends 400 dollars on a console that will play games for years, the other pays 400 dollars for a graphics card that will be outdated in a week

What's the difference between a crackhead and a John?

A crackhead buys crack so he can put it into his pipe and burn it. A John pays so that he can put his pipe into a crack that might burn him.

House Jokes More House Jokes

What's the difference between a toilet and a sink?

Aaaand you're not allowed in my house anymore.

What colour did Matthew McConaughey want his house to be painted?

All white, all white, all white.

Pizza Jokes More Pizza Jokes

What do you get when you cross Pizza with a Bike?

A Piecycle.

How do you get the political science grad off your lawn?

Pay for the pizza

Philosophy Jokes More Philosophy Jokes

What do you call a homeless college student?

A philosophy major

What is the philosophy of a necrophiliac?

Sit back, relax and crack open a cold one

Doctorate Jokes More Doctorate Jokes

What do you call a Tungsten Holmium compound with a Doctorate?

Doctor WHo

How do you get someone with a doctorate in philosophy to leave your house?

Just pay for your pizza.