How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts her sentence with, "A man once told me..."

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do we know God isn't black?

Because then he would've said "I is who I is"

Why should you attend someone's funeral although you know they won't be attend yours back?

Because they will be at your funeral in spirit

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What did two twins name a towing company started in lower Manhattan?

The Twin Towers.

What's wrong with it?

Doesn't start

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?

Wave.

Why didn't the hippie save the drowning swimmer?

He was too far out man

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell the difference between the staff and the inmates at a psychiatric hospital?

The patients get better and leave. Not everyone of the patients thinks he is God. The staff have the keys!

What do you call an alligator from India whose in charge of telling everyone what to do?

A Deli-gator...I'll be here all week!

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

How do you get a woman to pick cotton?

Set her tampon string on fire.

What did the fisherman do when he really liked a woman?

He invited her over to net fish and krill.

Sentence Jokes More Sentence Jokes

How does a Mexican use 'liver' and 'cheese' in the same sentence?

Liver alone, cheese mine!

What has 6 letters, starts with 'P', and ends a sentence?

Parole.