How do you stop Carlos Santana from molesting your children?

You put a guitar in his hands.

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What did the bartender day to the man who was drinking his vodka to fast?

Stop "Russian"

How do you stop bacon from curling in the pan?

Take away their little brooms!

Guitar Jokes More Guitar Jokes

What did the guitar and banjo name their daughter?

Amanda Lynn

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can tune a guitar but you can't tuna fish.

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

What is small, crying and cannot get under the table?

A child with pitchfork in his back

When is a parent like a child?

When he's a miner.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What do a Boston Marathon runner and Jesus have in common?

Nails in their hands and feet

What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's arse?

A mechanic.

Molest Jokes More Molest Jokes

What do you call the High Sparrow who is caught molesting kids?

The Deviated Septon.

What do you call someone who molests puppies and kittens?

A Petophile