Why do stop lights turn red?

You would turn red too if you had to change in front of everybody.

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Light Jokes More Light Jokes

How many people from Svalbard does it take to change a light-bulb?

Light? What's that?

How many assholes does it take to change a lightbulb?

It doesn't matter, mine itches so bad it's on fire, providing plenty of light for everyone in the room!

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What did the NFL Commissioner say when Adele turned down the Superbowl Halftime Show?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you

Where my single ladies at?

drunk responses* This one's for you *turns off music, serious tone* This is a bad place to meet men

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How to stop an unwanted DM. Hi, how are you?

Me: Well, my ex has me on a wanted list because I'm a psychotic cow, how are you

How'd you get that cut above your eye?

Me: *Remembering dropping my phone on my face* "STOP ASKING ME ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!"

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many white people does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just hire a mexican to do it.

What do you call a guitar that has completely changed parts?

Trans-Fender.

Everybody Jokes More Everybody Jokes

Why do stop lights turn red?

You would turn red too if you had to change in front of everybody.

What is Lil' John's favorite exercise?

Squats, squats, squats squats, squats squats, squats, squats, squats squats. Everybody!