Guitar Jokes

Why won't Jonas Bjerre, Johan Wohlert nor Silas Utke Graae Jrgensen use guitars?

Because guitars make music.

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How does a lawyer from Panama play his guitar?

He shreds.

How do you stop Carlos Santana from molesting your children?

You put a guitar in his hands.

Why is there so much "twang" in Country music?

It is the sound a guitar makes after six or seven generations of inbreeding.

What do you call a guitar that has completely changed parts?

Trans-Fender.

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can tune a guitar but you can't tuna fish.

What's the difference between my guitar and my girlfriend?

My guitar doesn't yell at me when I snap it's g-string

What did the guitars do when they were unhappy with their government?

Formed a coustic d'tat

What do a guitar and a drum have in common?

Neither of them are a clarinet!

Why do guitar amps hum?

Because they don't know the words.

What's the difference between a guitar and an elevator?

I didn't expose myself inside a guitar this morning.

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What does former Vice President Gore play on the guitar?

An algorithm

What do you call a cow that plays the guitar?

A Moosician!

What did Al Gore play on his guitar?

An algorithm.

What's the fastest way to make money as a guitarist?

By selling your guitar.

Why did the guitarist leave his guitar on the ground?

It didn't have any pickups

What if you get mugged?

So just to be safe, I took his guitar.

Who.. Plays The Guitar.. Boy: How Do i play the guitar ?

Girls: You Should be on TV for your talent. Boy: Am i so good ..... Boy : if you were on TV, i can atleast switch it off...

How does a dog play Hendrix on guitar?

With a chihuahua pedal.

Why did Silly Sue throw her guitar away ?

Because it had a hole in the middle.

What kind of guitar did the pool player own?

A: A-cue-stick.

What did the guitar and banjo name their daughter?

Amanda Lynn

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna"fish!

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Tv Jokes More Tv Jokes

Whats faster then a Aboriginal with a TV?

His son with the xbox.

Where do tv's go on vacation?

To remote Islands

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

Whats the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window

What's the difference between Reddit and Voat?

Reddit doesn't constantly have reposts from the other site.

Tune Jokes More Tune Jokes

What does a tuna, a glue stick, and a piano have not have in common?

You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

What's the difference... ...between a piano, a fish, and glue?

You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish "What about the glue " I knew you'd get stuck on that.

Gsus Jokes More Gsus Jokes

Which chord is essential to every Christian song?

Gsus

What is a priest's favorite guitar chord?

Gsus

Snap Jokes More Snap Jokes

When are Pomeranians good at taking photographs?

Only when they snap at something!

What's the difference between my guitar and my girlfriend?

My guitar doesn't yell at me when I snap it's g-string

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

What's the last sound you hear before a pube hits the floor?

tppppthh...."spit sound"

What sound does a baby make when you put it in a microwave?

I don't know....I was too busy masterbating.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

When is the worst possible time to have a heart attack?

When you are playing Charades.

Which game did the cat want to play with the mouse?

A: Catch.

Sheet Music Jokes More Sheet Music Jokes

How do you confuse a drummer?

Give him sheet music

What's the best way to get your guitar player to turn down the volume?

Give him the sheet music.