Sheet Music Jokes

How do you get a guitar player to shut up?

Put sheet music in front of him

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How do you get a guitar player to turn down his amp?

Give him sheet music.

How do you confuse a drummer?

Give him sheet music

What's the best way to get your guitar player to turn down the volume?

Give him the sheet music.

Why did the zombie start ripping up sheet music?

Because he was de-composing.

Why did the composer spend all his time in bed?

He wrote sheet music.

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What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog asleep on your bed?

Sleep on the sofa.

Why was the Police Officer still in bed?

Because he was .

Amp Jokes More Amp Jokes

What famous actor costs an arm &amp a leg to hire?

ARMold SchwarzenLEGger

What is the difference between an UNDERWEAR &amp?

a STAGE CURTAIN? A: When you pull down the STAGE CURTAIN, the show is over, but when you pull down the UNDERWEAR..... it's SHOWTIME!!!

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Why does it take so long for pirates to learn the alphabet?

Because they can spend years at sea.

What does a dyslexic,agnostic and insomniac spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night thinking if there really is a dog

Guitar Player Jokes More Guitar Player Jokes

What do Catholics and guitar players have in common?

Neither of them practice.

What's the difference between a guitar player and a savings bond?

Eventually the savings bond will mature and begin to earn money.

Confuse Jokes More Confuse Jokes

How do you confuse an irishman?

Lean 3 shovels against the wall and tell him to take his pick.

How do you confuse a blonde?

Paint yourself green and throw forks at them.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How the fight started Wife : Going for a walk, do you want anything?

Me : How about a newspaper. Wife : OK, which one Me : Today's.

What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your TV starts to float?

You turn on the lights and shoot the black guy stealing it.

Write Jokes More Write Jokes

What does toilet paper and office paper have in common?

You can write on both of them with a No. 2

What did Nietzsche tell his editor when he finished writing Thus Spoke Zarathustra?

It's over, man.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What do you call a Sasquatch that is never on time?

Not Yeti

Who has time to monitor followers/unfollowers?

I can barely keep track of my kids and I only have 1 of those. Wait. Two. I have 2 kids.