Guitar Player Jokes

How do you get a guitar player to shut up?

Put sheet music in front of him

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Why did Sally the stripper stop dating the guitar player?

He kept trying to tune her G string.

How do you get the guitar player off of your porch?

Pay for the pizza.

How many guitar players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

2 . One to screw it in and another to say, "I could do that".

How do you get a guitar player to turn down his amp?

Give him sheet music.

How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Ten: one to screw it in and nine to say, "Pssh, I can do that."

What do Catholics and guitar players have in common?

Neither of them practice.

What's the best way to get your guitar player to turn down the volume?

Give him the sheet music.

What's the difference between a guitar player and a savings bond?

Eventually the savings bond will mature and begin to earn money.

What's the difference between a guitar player and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of four.

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What is the difference man &amp?

woman ? Pupil :Sir, in overtime ,overdose & overhead ,man shouts and woman sobs

What do The Walking Dead and Fast &amp Furious have in common?

dead walkers

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What kinds of vegetables did Ghandi prefer?

Peace and carrots... Thought this up at work today. I'm sure it's been done before but it made me chuckle...

What kind of bat hangs upside-down?

An acrobat.

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How do you make a drummers car more aerodynamic?

You remove the pizza delivery sign! Hahahahaaa..ha

How do you make a guitar player's car more aerodynamic?

Take off the pizza delivery sign.

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What's the best way to get to the mental hospital?

Take the psychopath!!

What's the best way to lose some pounds?

Leave the EU.

Tune Jokes More Tune Jokes

Why did Walt Disney visit a mechanic?

He wanted to get his Car tuned

How do you make two Oboists play in tune with one another?

Shoot one of them.

Cue Stick Jokes More Cue Stick Jokes

What kind of guitar did the pool player own?

A: A-cue-stick.

What's the difference between Eric Clapton and a snooker player?

One plays with an electric guitar, the other a-cue-stick.

Practice Jokes More Practice Jokes

Why should all teenagers get a case for their cell phones?

Because they should use protection to practice safe text

What's the one thing pacifism and Hinduism have in common?

Those who practice them don't want any beef with people.

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

Why does Cuba not have any casinos?

They Havana no money to spend.

What is Batman's favorite thing to do with his money?

Make it Wayne.