How do you tell the difference between a chemistry professor and a politician ?

Just ask them to read this word: unionized.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a shooting range and an American college?

About thirty thousand dollars a year.

What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scottish sheep farmer?

One says, 'Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!' The other says 'Hey! MacLeod! Get off of my ewe.'

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did the hippy say when he was told to get off the couch and get a job?

Namaste (pronounced:nah I'ma stay)

How can you tell God is a man?

If God was a woman sperm would taste like chocolate

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How many "can't"s can a white girl "can't" before she literally can't even?

my brother asked me this when i woke up and it has been bugging me all day.

Who does Luke Skywalker ask to charge his lightsaber?

Char-Jar Binks

Word Jokes More Word Jokes

What's a word that starts with "u" and ends with "w"?

Cloning.

How many amateur masochists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one; But it takes a WHOLE E.R. room to extract it afterwards. Double joke! "whole... hole." it's a play on words ;)

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

Why didn't Hellen Keller learn to lip-read?

The braille left her lips numb.

Why do old people read the bible so much?

I asked my grandad the other day "why do old people read the bible so much?" He replied "cause we're cramming for finals"

Politician Jokes More Politician Jokes

Why is being a politician more difficult than being a ventriloquist?

Ventriloquists have to be able to speak with their mouths closed. Politicians speak out of both sides of their mouths simultaneously.

How do you know you're golfing with a politician?

When they get a hole-in-one they write down *zero* on the scorecard.

Unionize Jokes More Unionize Jokes

How do you tell the difference between a physicist and a plumber?

Ask them to say the word 'unionized'.

How do you tell the difference between a chemistry professor and a politician ?

Just ask them to read this word: unionized.