How do you turn lead into gold?

Start a war.

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What's the difference between an accident and a catastrophe?

It's an accident if a boat full of refugees starts to take in water. A catastrophe is if they know how to swim

What is the most tried and true method to getting a small fortune?

Start out with a large fortune.

War Jokes More War Jokes

Which war was the hungriest?

Viet-nom.

What do we call this war?

The World War " "No. There's already been 1 of those" "Uh this is a world war, too" *the streetlights explode*

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

Why does the Hound of the Baskervilles turn round and round before he lies down for the night?

Because he's the watchdog and he has to wind himself up.

How many Australians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they all turn them the the wrong way.

Gold Jokes More Gold Jokes

What's better than winning gold in the Paralympics?

Having a pair of legs...... I know, I know, I'm going to hell

What would gold say if it could talk?

A-U" :

Lead Jokes More Lead Jokes

What is the leading cause of dry skin?

Bath towels...

What's the tragedy with little people?

They lead such short lives.