How do you turn lead into gold?

Start a war.

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What do Amish people catch when they start using technology?

Mennonitis!

What starts with e, ends with e, and only contains one letter?

an Envelope EDIT: My deepest Canadian apologies to those who are calling this a riddle. I always took it as a cheesy joke

War Jokes More War Jokes

Why did all the black people die in the war?

Because when they captain said, "GET DOWN!" They all started dancing..

What's wrong with the phrase "War on Drugs"?

Wars end.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What do you get when turn three blondes upside down?

Two brunettes and a red-head.

Why can't you tell a Philosophy Student a good joke?

You need to give a three hour lecture and turn in a research paper on "What is 'good' " first.

Gold Jokes More Gold Jokes

What would gold say if it could talk?

A-U" :

What did the miner say when he struck gold?

Au, yeah!

Lead Jokes More Lead Jokes

Why are LED's a good investment?

Because they always diode.

How do you lead a horse to water?

With carrots