How does a barnacle like its martinis?

On the rocks.

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Rock Jokes More Rock Jokes

What's the funniest thing the rock said to the geologist ?

Nothing. Because rocks don't talk and geology's not funny.

What type of rock is this Holmes?

It's sedimentary my dear Watson!

Martini Jokes More Martini Jokes

What did the martini say when someone put a toothpick in it?

It hurts, but olive.

Why don't elephants like martinis?

Have you ever tried to get an olive out of your nose

Barnacle Jokes More Barnacle Jokes

Why should you never go out drinking if you wear a monocle?

Because then you'd be a barnacle.

How did the scuba-diver pay for his drinks?

With Barnacles (bar nickels)