How many survivors of nuclear war does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. People that glow in the dark don't need lights.

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Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many amateur masochists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one; But it takes a WHOLE E.R. room to extract it afterwards. Double joke! "whole... hole." it's a play on words ;)

Why do failing college girls always screw their professors?

Cause they want the D.

Light Jokes More Light Jokes

Why did you stop your car get out and yell "coward" at the traffic signal?

Motorist: The light just turned yellow.

How many assholes does it take to change a lightbulb?

It doesn't matter, mine itches so bad it's on fire, providing plenty of light for everyone in the room!

People Jokes More People Jokes

What do people with aspergers Do in the bathroom?

They take an aspie

What are people afraid of puns called?

Homophonic I'm sorry...

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many Black Lives Matters protesters does it take to change a light bulb?

Don't be silly, Black Lives Matters protesters can't change anything.

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One because his knee grows.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What do you say when you catch a deer with no eyes?

I have no-eye-deer! (Unless you're a dad, you may need to sound it out)

What do you need to make a crystal salad?

Onions, tomatoes, and a whole bunch of lattice

Dark Jokes More Dark Jokes

Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?

To get to the dark side...

Why do people smile in Africa?

So they won't run into each other in the dark.

Glow Jokes More Glow Jokes

How's the wife?

Me:Glowing Neighbour:Pregnant Me:No, she's on fire, just going for more wood Neighbour:You're sick Me:You're next

What do you call a balloon that glows in the dark?

A LED Zeppelin

Survivor Jokes More Survivor Jokes

What do you call a 5 year old kid with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor All they wanted was books but instead they got magazines

How many survivors of nuclear war does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. People that glow in the dark don't need lights.