Dr:I'm afraid he's in critical condition *shout from inside room "You've never lived to up to your potential!"
Me: To look pretty. 5: But she's already pretty. Me: Aww. 5: Dad, you should wear makeup.
My dad and I are going out for sushi tonight, and he has rescheduled this dinner with me several times for dumb reasons (one night was because he randomly decided to go out drinking instead). Would love to get my revenge by making sushi puns and jokes all night, but Google is failing me--I've only been able to find jokes that either make no sense, or are just not funny at all. Help!
Zebra. Coz they are still living in black and white.
The babies in my nutsack are still living.
Get really close to their ear and shout, "DO YOU WANNA BUY A DOG "
I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit
Q: Why did Joan Rivers die during throat surgery? A: Because her career as a comic was stuck, but no matter how he tried, the Dr. couldn't pull a laugh out of her.
Nurse: "I can't tell." Dr: "It's ok; you can tell me. I'm a doctor"
You've got a lot of potential, son."
