What are your best "If I had for every time..." jokes?

Two of my favorites are:

Previous Random Joke Next

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What time does Sean Connery leave to go to Wimbledon?

Tennish.

Why do we never take the time to thank mislabeled concrete?

It's mistaken for granite.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Why do horses make terrible congressmen?

Because they can only say "neigh!" I wish this was a joke made up by my 7 year old cousin, but she's imaginary.

What do you call a joke that gets posted over and over again on reddit?

Al-redi-reddi-tt.

Favorite Jokes More Favorite Jokes

Why are there separate book donation boxes for Nigeria, Ghana, AND Zambia outside the bookstore?

Am I supposed to pick my favorite

What's a Brooklyn contractors favorite dance?

Dewalts