What did God say to Jesus?

This lawn ain't gonna mow itself.

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Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Why did Jesus leave the dance floor?

Because it was Hammertime'

How do you know Jesus loves Japanese food?

Because he said he loves miso.

God Jokes More God Jokes

Why did God invent economists?

So accountants could have someone to laugh at.

What did I do before Twitter?

Well, there's my family and......OH MY GOD WHERE'S MY FAMILY ! !

Lawn Jokes More Lawn Jokes

Why wouldn't the pimp water his lawn?

He couldn't trust his hose.

What does Mozart put on his front lawn?

Metrognomes

Mow Jokes More Mow Jokes

Why aren't you mowing the lawn?

Link: It's raining Z: No it's not L: *Plays Song of Storms* Z: You're sleeping with Epona tonight

How many of my parents does it take to mow the lawn?

None. They pay me to do it.