What did Mr T say when asked if he had any wool?

Yes sir, yes sir, three bags, fool.

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When I asked her why, she said "uhhh no real reason". I'm thinking, "no reason, huh?

So I punched her in the face. Now she has a reason.

What's the difference between toilet paper and a knife?

Oh, you don't know I won't ask you to wipe my bum then.

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Why did Mr. T reject Socialism?

Because he stumbled across a quote by Karl Marx which said: "All you have to lose is your chains."

Why doesn't Mr T like cream and mashed fruit?

He pities the fool.

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What do you call it when a sheep sells his wool for money?

Cashearing! (Joke I made up last night at work, so be gentle with me)

What is the softest bed for a baby to sleep on?

Cot-on-wool.