What did one eye say to the other eye?

Between you and me, something smells. Credit: Christmas cracker.

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Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What do homeless people get for Christmas?

Hypothermia.

What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common?

Their balls are just for decoration

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

What do you call the injury a black guy gets after he gets punched in the eye?

uh...a blacker eye?

What do you like about me?

Me: Your crippling self esteem issues have caused you to lower your standards. Her: What Me: Your eyes

Credit Jokes More Credit Jokes

Why are atoms untrustworthy?

They make up everything. Credit to from an askreddit thread about what not to trust.

Why did the orange go to the doctor?

Because she wasn't peeling very well... All credit to my 8 yo son who suggested I post it here

Christmas Cracker Jokes More Christmas Cracker Jokes

What did the sea say to the shore?

Nothing, he just waved. Christmas crackers are the worst.

What Do You Call A Line Of Men Waiting For A Haircut?

A Barbecue. Christmas crackers are just full of laughs.