What did Richard Nixon say after he tried to make dinner at the White House for the first time?

I am not a cook

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How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Six. One to screw in the lightbulb and five to fend off all those Californians trying to share the experience.

What do you call a pilot who tries to tell a joke but gets distracted and crashes his plane into a building?

A comickaze

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When is the only time you can park like a retard?

In a handicapped spot.

Where's the best place to hide an elephant?

Dad: Where is the best place to hide an elephant? Me: I don't know, behind a big rock? Dad: In a tree silly. Me: In a tree? Dad: When's the last time you saw an elephant in a tree?

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Why was the chef afraid of cooking steaks on a plane?

The steaks have never been higher

What's the hardest part of cooking vegetables?

Their wheelchairs

Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

What do you call a Mexican ready-meal?

Dinner for Juan

What did the fruit say to the vegetable before dinner?

Lettuce, pray.

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What did Richard Nixon say after he tried to make dinner at the White House for the first time?

I am not a cook

What's Richard Nixon's favorite game?

I spy.

White House Jokes More White House Jokes

What was white outside and black inside?

The White House.

Why does Hillary keep bumping into people at the White House?

So she can be pardoned.