What did the conductor do when half of the cello section called in sick a week before a major concert?

He was forced to resort to excessive violins.

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Half Jokes More Half Jokes

Why is Jesus never able to finish more than half of a crossword puzzle?

He always gets stuck on across.

What is the height of honesty?

A: A pregnant lady takes one and a half ticket in the bus Q: What is the height of dishonesty A: She gives birth to twins

Force Jokes More Force Jokes

What do clothes and religion have in common?

Someone invented them and forced them on everyone.

What did Darth Vader say to the Internet?

May the force e-with you.

Conductor Jokes More Conductor Jokes

What do you tell a conductor when they lose control of their orchestra?

Go Bach and get a Handel on it!

What did the rubber say when he was offered a job as the high school choir teacher?

I can't, I'm not a conductor." Pffffffhehewheheheheheh.

Resort Jokes More Resort Jokes

What did the conductor do when half of the cello section called in sick a week before a major concert?

He was forced to resort to excessive violins.

Whats the difference between white people and yogurt?

If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it will develop its own cultures without having to resort to stealing others.