What did the conductor do when half of the cello section called in sick a week before a major concert?

He was forced to resort to excessive violins.

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Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What is worse than a worm in a cherry?

Half of a worm in half of a cherry.

Why do skateboarders make lousy plumbers?

Because they only use half pipes.

Force Jokes More Force Jokes

What do you call a group of armed nuns enforcing the status quo?

a force of habit

How is Ducktape like the Force?

It has a Dark Side, a Light side and it binds everything the galaxy together. Edit:Duct Tape I know, I was tired

Conductor Jokes More Conductor Jokes

Why couldn't they execute the railway worker with the electric chair?

He was too good a conductor

Why are trains so energetic?

They have Conductors.

Resort Jokes More Resort Jokes

What did the muslim man say when he arrived at his resort in Hawaii?

Aloha Snackbar!

Whats the difference between white people and yogurt?

If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it will develop its own cultures without having to resort to stealing others.