Conductor Jokes

What job do you never stop training for?

Conductor

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What do you call a drummer who has lost one of his drumsticks?

A conductor.

What did the rubber say when he was offered a job as the high school choir teacher?

I can't, I'm not a conductor." Pffffffhehewheheheheheh.

Why are trains so energetic?

They have Conductors.

Which member felt the warmest?

The conductor.

What do you tell a conductor when they lose control of their orchestra?

Go Bach and get a Handel on it!

Why did the train get hit by lighting?

Because of the conductor.

What's the difference between a teacher and a conductor on the railroad?

One trains the mind the other minds the train.

Why couldn't they execute the railway worker with the electric chair?

He was too good a conductor

What did the conductor do when half of the cello section called in sick a week before a major concert?

He was forced to resort to excessive violins.

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How can you tell if a witch is on a diet?

Her food is potion-controlled.

What would you call a supervillain that could control every part of the electro-magnetic spectrum except 495-570 nm?

Magento

Offer Jokes More Offer Jokes

What's the difference between an Hawaiin and a Muslim ?

One always offer a snack bar after saying hello

What did the snake say when he was offered a piece of cheese for dinner?

Thank you I'll just have a slither.

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine &amp a small child?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window...

Why does nobody like to sit next to Elsa?

Coz...she "let's it go!"

Strike Jokes More Strike Jokes

Why does lightning always strike trees?

They are the path of leaf resistance.

Why did the guy at the trainyard get struck by lightning?

He was an excellent conductor

Electric Chair Jokes More Electric Chair Jokes

Why couldn't they execute the railway worker with the electric chair?

He was too good a conductor

Why didn't the criminal train operator die when he got the electric chair?

he was a bad conductor.

Schedule Jokes More Schedule Jokes

Why is it so easy to make plans with a gymnast?

A: Because their schedules are so flexible.

What time are most dental appointments scheduled for?

Tooth hurty.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

Why was dyslexic Eminem put in a cage?

He was startin' to feel like a rap dog, rap dog.

How do you think the whole Deflategate situation feels to Tom Brady now?

Probably doesn't feel how he prefers it to...

9th Jokes More 9th Jokes

Why should you never let a non-metal drive a train?

Because they're poor conductors! (I know they're called Engineers but cut me some slack, I thought of this in the 9th grade.)

What do Beethoven's 9th and a dead baby have in common?

They're both D-composed.