What did the double hand amputee get for Christmas?

I don't know, he hasn't managed to open it yet.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How are blizzards and men alike?

You don't know when they're coming, you don't know how many inches you'll get, and you don't know long they'll last

How do you know it's safe to feed the ducks the same thing as the Canadian geese down at the pond?

Because what's good the goose is good for Merganser.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus?

MIKE: We'll have a boo Christmas without you.

What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

Cancer.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

What did Serena say to Venus before they faced off in the US Open?

In tennis, love means nothing.

What did little no armed Jimmy get for Christmas?

Gloves! Haha I'm joking. He hasn't opened it yet.

Manage Jokes More Manage Jokes

How do you do it w/ 4 kids?

Hubs: With the door locked. Me: She means how do we manage...but yeah.

Why can't Arabs manage the scoreboards at ball games?

Because people get nervous when Mohammad starts counting down from 10.