What did the double hand amputee get for Christmas?

I don't know, he hasn't managed to open it yet.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Whenever I get to a restaurant and they say there is a wait I say "do you know who I am?

because while I wait I like to be introspective

What's with Jane ?

It doesn't look good" "Yeah, I know, I'm asking about her health"

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What did the Scottish epileptic boy get for Christmas?

A Wii fit

What do you get a body builder for Christmas?

A dictionary, so they get plenty of definition.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

How do you read the Gospel According to Shrek?

Open your bible to Psalm BODY ONCE TOLD ME

How do you know when to use "fridge" or "refrigerator"?

Open it, if there's a 'd' in it, it's a fridge.

Manage Jokes More Manage Jokes

Why is ISIS so good at sports?

Even in high-intensity games they always manage to execute

How do you manage that?

I think it was when I tried to push it through the letterbox.