What did the double hand amputee get for Christmas?

I don't know, he hasn't managed to open it yet.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How much do you love me?

Count the stars in the sky and that's how much I love you "But it's so cloudy" *pats her on the head* Yeah I know

Who's there? Dave. Dave who?

Dave promptly burst into tears as not everyone in the world knew Dave.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters ?

They both drop their needles !

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

Cancer.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

What did the little girl say when opened up a box of Cheerios?

Awww, look daddy, doughnut seeds!!!

What bank do birds open accounts with?

The one with the most branches!

Manage Jokes More Manage Jokes

Why can't Arabs manage the scoreboards at ball games?

Because people get nervous when Mohammad starts counting down from 10.

Why is ISIS so good at sports?

Even in high-intensity games they always manage to execute