What did the guy who got fired for always being late say?

It was just a matter of time.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

How much time does a black woman takes to take out the trash?

9 months

What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed?

Aw sheet! One of my favorite, cheesiest jokes of all time. Thought it would be a good first post to Reddit!

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

How many assholes does it take to change a lightbulb?

It doesn't matter, mine itches so bad it's on fire, providing plenty of light for everyone in the room!

Why would you stay friends with an ex-girlfriend?

When you get fired from a job, you don't stay around and watch other people do your job.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

Who'll handle the Guantanamo closing?

Same guys who did Circuit City

What's a rock group with four guys that don't sing?

Mount Rushmore

Matter Jokes More Matter Jokes

Why was the electron mad?

Well, it doesn't really matter...

What's the best thing about picking up a homeless chick?

It doesn't matter where you drop them off.