What did the guy who got fired for always being late say?

It was just a matter of time.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why don't women blink during foreplay?

They don't have time.

Why are promise rings 1/10th the price of engagement rings?

They only work 10% of the time.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What do you call a person who fights fire?

Firefighter.

What do you call a woman who sets all her money on fire?

Bernadette!

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What do you call a guy dumped by his Asian girlfriend?

Disoriented.

What's your spirit animal?

An eagle. They're so majestic." MEANWHILE Horse: hey eagle, what's your spirit human Eagle: this guy Dave

Matter Jokes More Matter Jokes

What's the difference between matter and a hormone?

You can't make matter.

What did one John say to the other John?

What's the matter You look flushed!"