What do Congressional Republicans and ISIS in Afghanistan have in common?

Their first act since arriving was to go after the elderly.

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Isis Jokes More Isis Jokes

How do you get a New Yorker upset about ISIS terror attacks?

Tell them ISIS are Red Sox fans.

What is ISIS's favorite type of text?

Is the answer: A: Heading B: Heading C: Heading

Afghanistan Jokes More Afghanistan Jokes

Why do people in Afghanistan air dry after they shower?

Because of the towel ban

Why are there no Wal Marts in Iraq, Iran, or Afghanistan?

Because there are already too many targets. (credit: some old veteran bum looking guy sleeping on a bench at the police station I went to today.)

Arrive Jokes More Arrive Jokes

Why is Gandalf so good in bed?

Because a wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.

What room is it?

When you arrive at the international airport you are American. There is a room that changes your nationality. When you enter this room you are Russian, when you leave this room you are Finnish, and while inside European. What room is it?

Republican Jokes More Republican Jokes

Why do Republicans make good DJs?

Because they know how to shut the House down.

Why is Monica Lewinsky going to vote Republican this year?

Last time she tried Democrat it left a bad taste in her mouth.

Act Jokes More Act Jokes

Why did the dog's friends send her home from the bar when she started to act strange?

They thought she might have been slipped a woofie.

Why do men act like idiots?

Who says they're acting