What do Congressional Republicans and ISIS in Afghanistan have in common?

Their first act since arriving was to go after the elderly.

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Isis Jokes More Isis Jokes

How does ISIS listen to its favourite tunes?

On a boombox.

What's ISIS's favourite band?

Koran Koran.

Afghanistan Jokes More Afghanistan Jokes

Where do Americans buy their groceries in Afghanistan?

At the infideli counter.

What's the capital of Afghanistan?

A: KABOOM!!

Arrive Jokes More Arrive Jokes

What did the Mexican do when he arrived in America?

removed

What did the carrot say when the last vegetable arrived at the party?

TURNIP

Republican Jokes More Republican Jokes

Why were Democrats in the lead early on?

Republicans weren't off of work yet.

Why do Republicans use rulers?

They want everything to be straight.

Act Jokes More Act Jokes

Who is the prettiest of my friends?

Me: your mother, why W: Stop acting like you're 12. M: (thinking) I dodged that bullet again.

What's the difference between Bono and Jesus?

Jesus didn't walk around Dublin acting like he's Bono.