What do you get when you buy a $5 umbrella?

Wet.

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What does Fetty Wap buy when he goes to Walmart?

7 tees, 30 eggs

How do you sell chocolate to a deaf/foreign person?

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY SOME CHOCOLATE?!

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What kind of umbrella does the Queen of England carry on a rainy day?

A wet one.

What do you get when you buy a $5 umbrella?

Wet.

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How should I respond?

Source: http://qr.ae/xUchD

What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire?

How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on thanksgiving)