What do you get when you buy a $5 umbrella?

Wet.

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Why doesn't Moses buy beer?

He brews it.

Why did Snoop Dogg buy an umbrella?

Fo drizzle

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What does Snoop Dogg have an umbrella for?

Fo' Drizzle

Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?

Fo' drizzle. :)

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What do you get when you cross a leopard and a camel?

A fireside rug you can get a good hump on.

Why should you never mention the number 288?

Because it's two gross! (A gross is a measurement unit for "144". So 2 * 144 = 288. Or "two gross".)