What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?

A trip without kids.

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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What is the recipe for honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone, without dressing. I remembered this today from a joke book I had when I was a kid. Wasn't sure if it should be here or /r/dadjokes

What bounces and makes kids cry?

The cheque I just sent to Save the Children.

Mix Jokes More Mix Jokes

What do you get when you mix a helicopter and a rhino?

Hell if I know.

What do you get when you mix an Insomniac a Dyslexic and an Agnostic?

Someone who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog

Birth Control Jokes More Birth Control Jokes

What do accountants use for birth-control?

A. Their personalities.

What did the banker use for birth control?

His personality

Trip Jokes More Trip Jokes

How was your trip to Israel?

This month they had Sukkot (the festival of tabernacles) It was pretty "in tents".

Why did the communists trip over?

Because they were Russian!

Lsd Jokes More Lsd Jokes

What's the difference between LSD and my dad?

LSD doesn't need to be drunk to hit me.

What did the guy on LSD say while driving on the highway?

Woah, the traffic is moving.