Birth Control Jokes

What do engineers use for birth control?

Their personality.

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What does an IT guy use for birth control?

His personality.

What does an engineer use for birth control?

Their personality.

What is your preferred type of birth control?

Well, its not preferred, but I practice abstinence."

What did the banker use for birth control?

His personality

What is the most effective form of birth control?

Abortions.

What's the cheapest form of birth control?

Casey Anthony

What does an accountant use for birth control?

His personality.

What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?

A trip without kids.

What do accountants use for birth-control?

A. Their personalities.

What do you call people who teach their kids to use abstinence as birth control?

Grandparents.

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What do you call people who use the pull out method as form of birth control?

Parents.

What does an IT guys use for birth control?

His personality.

What's the best part about dating a terminally ill cancer patient?

They are their own birth control

What does a violin player use as birth control?

Their personality

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens to the losers of the tv show The Biggest Loser?

They're made to feel like the smallest person in the world.

What happened to Ed's girlfriend?

Sheeran

Practice Jokes More Practice Jokes

What is an umbrella doing in the shower?

Practicing

Why would a Catholic priest start practicing at a prison?

He ran out of little boys

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

How did the french guy feel when he got hit by a piece of bread?

He felt pain.

What do you do when you want to golf in a thunderstorm?

Hold up a 1 Iron. Not even God can hit a 1 iron.

Abortion Jokes More Abortion Jokes

What do you call a 16 year old black girl who has had a few abortions?

a crime fighter.

Why are there no nice cars in heaven?

Because abortions float.

Accountant Jokes More Accountant Jokes

Why couldn't the accountant keep his car in working order?

Because it broke down and he couldn't budget.

Why did the accountant go crazy?

He started to hear invoices in his head.

Lsd Jokes More Lsd Jokes

What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?

A trip without kids.

What's the difference between LSD and my dad?

LSD doesn't need to be drunk to hit me.

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why are people in wheelchairs always getting taken advantage of?

Because they're easy to push around and never stand up for themselves

What would people call Ryan Lochte if he went to jail?

Ryan Locht-up

A. Jokes More A. Jokes

Why does the Navy put Marines on board ships?

A. "Because sheep would be too obvious"

Why would a blonde wear green lipstick?

A.) Because red means Stop.