What is it that you are both most fearful of?

WIFE: I just...sobbing...don't want the kids to suffer ME: Eels

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the dyslexic escapologist join the International Socialists?

A. because he wanted to help untie the human race.

What did you do before you were married sir?

A: *with teary eyes* whatever the hell i wanted to do ...

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did Wilford Brimley say to his wife when he found out she was pregnant?

You have diafetus

What did the husband say to his wife when he tried pushing it in as much as he could, but it still wouldn't fit?

He said "I'm going to try on a different shoe size."

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What did you learn at summer camp?

KID: We built a generator out of sticks and mud MOM: A generator For what KID: To charge our iPods

What type of punch hurts kids the most?

A sandy hook

Suffer Jokes More Suffer Jokes

What do you get when you combine a watch with a dog?

An eternally suffering abomination...YOU MONSTER!

Why did Levi Strauss suffer from chronic diarrhea?

It runs in his jeans.

Eel Jokes More Eel Jokes

What did the Italian diver say when he saw an eel?

That's a moray!

What is it that you are both most fearful of?

WIFE: I just...sobbing...don't want the kids to suffer ME: Eels

Sob Jokes More Sob Jokes

What kind of ship never sinks?

A dictatorship. *sobs*

Why were the 5 gorgeous young blonde Danish fashion models sobbing their eyes out?

I told them I wasn't going to give birth to them.