What is Santa's favorite music?

Wrap! (I came up with this when i was 8.)

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Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What do Santa and Jared from Subway have in common?

They both leave kids rooms with an empty sack

What do you call someone who's afraid of Santa getting stuck in their chimney?

Claus-trophobic.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What did you do today?

Mum: Well, the builders that moved the garage came over and I paid them for their work done.

What will Ryan Lochte say if he looses "Dancing With the Stars"?

I was robbed" Sorry, that just came to me like a stroke of idiotic genius and I couldn't help myself.

8 Jokes More 8 Jokes

Why did the orange go to the doctor?

Because she wasn't peeling very well... All credit to my 8 yo son who suggested I post it here

What has 8 arms, is ominous looking and ink is its weapon of choice?

An octopus " "No Jeff, the answer is my wife's 4 divorce attorneys"

Wrap Jokes More Wrap Jokes

What did one Buddhist Master give to the child for his birthday?

Nothing wrapped in Emptiness. How did the birthday child respond? You are thoughtless for giving me this meaningless gift. To which the Buddhist Master replied, "Thank you."

What's better than a tall woman wrapping her legs around you?

A short woman trying like hell.