What is the worst way to ask for a cigarette in San Francisco?

You got a fag I can bum?"

This joke may have profanity.

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What's black and white and can't turn around in a corridor?

A nun with a javelin in her throat. (The only joke I can ever recall when asked for one. Told to me by my art teacher in Grade 11. Needless to say, he was my favourite teacher)

Who's there The Kgb The kgb who?

Slaps person) we will ask the questions.

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What does Harry Potter say when he wants a cigarette?

Tobaccio

Why shouldn't Spanish women smoke cigarettes?

You shouldn't smoke if your pregnant.

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What's the difference between toilet paper and a knife?

Oh, you don't know I won't ask you to wipe my bum then.

What are you going to do for a face?

When the monkey wants its bum back? :D

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How did the muslim get cancer?

By smoking a lot of fags.

Why did the religious person give up smoking?

Because God hates fags.

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What do the post office and the San Francisco 49ers have in common?

They don't deliver on Sunday

Why is it so cold in San Francisco?

Giant fans.

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What's the worst way to lose your job?

By firing squad.

What's the worst way to convince an officer who's pulled you over not to ticket you?

You can have my beer if you let me go."