What is the worst way to ask for a cigarette in San Francisco?

You got a fag I can bum?"

This joke may have profanity.
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How do you spell wrong?

R o n g. That's wrong. That's what you asked for isn't it

What did Blake Edwards say when asked if he had a roomate?

Yes, I have a rhuuuum, mate!

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What do you call a statue of Jesus made out of cigarettes?

Holy smokes.

How do you get stuck in an annoying conversation with a stranger?

Ask someone vaping if you can bum a cigarette.

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What's the difference between toilet paper and a knife?

Oh, you don't know I won't ask you to wipe my bum then.

What do public toilets and homeless shelters have in common?

They're both full of bums

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Why did the religious person give up smoking?

Because God hates fags.

How did the muslim get cancer?

By smoking a lot of fags.

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What is the difference between San Francisco and Larkspur?

Larkspur has a ferry terminal, San Francisco has terminal fairies.

Why don't girls in San Francisco wear skirts?

Their balls would fall out.

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What's the worst way to lose your job?

By firing squad.

What's the worst way to convince an officer who's pulled you over not to ticket you?

You can have my beer if you let me go."