What's got two legs, spots and bleeds?

Half a cheetah.

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Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What do you call a Kiwi with one leg?

Not even bro.

What do you call a Chinese lady with one leg?

Irene.

Bleed Jokes More Bleed Jokes

What bleeds once a month in the mouth?

Me, when I remember to floss once a month. Edit: account got hacked and showed something different. Sorry about that

What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot?

Half a cat.

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

Whole Foods "All the cash in a bag NOW!" 100% organic reusable bag ok?

Yes!" puts half the cash I had to charge for the bag

Why did the Priest go to Walmart?

Because the little boys pants were half off.

Spot Jokes More Spot Jokes

How do you spot a bad boss your first day on the job?

Check his/her pulse. (bitter at the workplace)

How do you spot a modern spider ?

He doesn't have a web he had a website !