What's the first thing a redneck buys when going to a family reunion?

Condoms.

This joke may have profanity.

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What is the last thing a redneck says before he dies?

ya'll watch this!

What's the only thing that could have saved George Michael?

A whambulance

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How did SkyMall go bankrupt?

I bought all my wife's birthday presents there before she left me.

How is marijuana stock sold on the stock market?

Buy high sell higher.

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Why don't catholics wear condoms?

Because little boys can't get pregnant.

What's the best form of protection when you don't have a condom?

A fake name

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What is the last thing a redneck says before he dies?

ya'll watch this!

Why are the busiest paleontologists always rednecks?

Because they are always caught up in some type of relative dating.

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Where does a guy from Arkansas go to pick up girls?

Family reunions.

How did you meet daddy?

Me: Well, it all started with a friendly game of spin the bottle at the family reunion...