What's the secret to a long life?

I said, "Never order vegetarian in Texas"

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Texas Jokes More Texas Jokes

What do a Texas tornado and an Oklahoma divorce have in common?

Either way someone's losing a trailer.

Why is an Oklahoma divorce like a Texas twister?

Somebody's 'bout to lose a trailer.

Vegetarian Jokes More Vegetarian Jokes

What do you call a vegetarian with bad gas?

A leaf blower

What do Driving Testers and Vegetarians have in common?

They are both very pedantic

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

What do you get when you order a JFK?

An americano with an extra shot

When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

Secret Jokes More Secret Jokes

Why shouldn't you tell secrets when a clock is around?

Because time will tell.

Where does a toilet keep his secrets?

In his diarrhea.