What's white and red, 3 inches long, and makes dudes scream and run away when you show it to them?

A positive pregnancy test.

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Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

What's the difference between a paddling pool and a toddler?

The pool doesn't scream when you go in dry.

How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What is logic?

A mute telling a deaf guy that a blind guy saw a paraplegic running behind a bald guy while grabbing his hair.

Why is diarrhea hereditary?

Because it runs in your genes!

Dude Jokes More Dude Jokes

How would you improve our business?

Dude, I'd bankrupt you in a week. I'm just catchin Pokemon in your office."

How many retweets to let me take your sister to prom?

A student walks up to his friend a week before prom and asks, "Hey, how many Twitter retweets do i have to get to take your sister to prom?" His friend says, "Dude, she was abducted! She's been missing 3 weeks, you know this!" The student says, "So you're saying if i find her, i can take her?"

3 Inch Jokes More 3 Inch Jokes

What's the difference between "ooo" and "ahhhh"?

About 3 inches.

What's the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaaah ?

About 3 inches