What time is it when an elephant sits on your car?

Time to get a new car.

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Car Jokes More Car Jokes

How do you call a Mexican who lost his car?

Carlos.

Why did the man sleep after being run over by a car?

Because he got tired.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What time does Andy Murray go to bed?

Tennish!

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away its USB cable.

What did the elephant say to the naked guy?

That thing sure is cute, but can it pick up peanuts?

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What's the deal with my laptop?

I'm sitting there typing and the battery drains, does this ever happen to you? So this little message pops up: Plug in or find another power source. Do you get that message? What other power source are they talking about? Well, I can't find that cable, so I'll go ahead and plug in to the hamster wheel generator I keep just in case. That's my other power source.

What do Eskimos get from sitting on the snow for too long?

Polaroids.

New Car Jokes More New Car Jokes

What's a mixed feeling?

When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Why do americans get manuals when buying a new car?

I thought they only drive automatic