What would Elvis Presley be doing if he were alive today?

Scratching at the inside of his coffin.

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Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

Where have you been?

he asked. "To my mother-in-law's burial." "Then why the scratches on your face " "She kept resisting, that old fart."

How do you make a flea circus?

From scratch.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What's the difference between the jokes I read today, and the jokes I read last week?

The posters

What's the difference between snow tires and slaves?

Slaves sing when chains are put on them. PS - im going to church today to beg for forgiveness

Inside Jokes More Inside Jokes

Whats the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?

BMWs have the pricks on the inside!

What is the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?

A BMW's pricks are on the inside!

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

How can you tell when a vampire is sick?

By his coffin!

What would Michael Jackson be doing if he were alive right now?

Probably clawing at the inside of his coffin.

Elvis Presley Jokes More Elvis Presley Jokes

Why can't Elvis Presley roll backwards with his car?

Because he is dead

Why can't Elvis Presley drive?

Cause he's dead.