What would Elvis Presley be doing if he were alive today?

Scratching at the inside of his coffin.

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What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy ?

You scratch my beak and I'll scratch yours !"

What scratches the window before it explodes?

A baby in a microwave

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Why did I wear no jeans today?

my supply was short.

What date is it today?

2nd April. Ha!! April fool!

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What's on the inside of a clean nose?

Fingerprints.

What's the difference between a hedgehog and a Jeep?

With the hedgehog the pricks can be seen on the outside and with a Jeep the prick can be seen on the inside.

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What did one sick casket say to the other sick casket?

Is that you, coffin?

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Well, both carry stiffs, but one's for coming and the other's for going.

Elvis Presley Jokes More Elvis Presley Jokes

What would Elvis Presley be doing if he were alive today?

Scratching at the inside of his coffin.

Why can't Elvis Presley drive?

Cause he's dead.