Whats 10 inches?

What's 10 inches, has a big red head and makes my girlfriend cry when i put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage

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Whats the difference between a Blonde and a Washing Machine?

The Washing Machine will not follow you around for 2 weeks after you dump a load in it!

Whats the difference between an environmentalist and a dog sitting in the rain?

eventually the dog sitting in the rain will stop whinging.

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How do you know when a mechanic has a girlfriend?

He has one clean finger.

What did Casper say to his girlfriend?

I love you, boo!!

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Why is being a politician more difficult than being a ventriloquist?

Ventriloquists have to be able to speak with their mouths closed. Politicians speak out of both sides of their mouths simultaneously.

What's grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow?

An elephant rolling down a hill with a daisy in its mouth!

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What's red, 10 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I try to put it in her mouth?

Her miscarriage. sorry.

What's hard, white, and 10 inches?

Nothing.