Whats the difference between me and a calendar?

A calendar has dates.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a person that just won the lottery and a fairy in salt water?

One is tickled pink, the other is a pickled Tink.

What's the difference between bruce banner and bruce jenner?

One turned into a terrifying monster, the other is an avenger.

S Jokes More S Jokes

Whats the difference between a Russian garbanzo bean and a Russian chickpea?

A president has never been blackmailed into treason over a video of him paying to have a Russian garbanzo bean on his face.

Whats Fred Flintstones favorite drug?

Crack Rock.

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

How can working with cow hide help on a first date?

As if she's going to lay there and be swayed by some new buck.

What's a redneck's favorite dating website?

Ancestry.com

Calendar Jokes More Calendar Jokes

How is it May already?

Day coming up tomorrow where people who don't know how calendars work tweet.

Why did the calendar give up on life?

Because he felt his days were numbered.