When I'm dead, I'm going to haunt offices and say, "OooOoo... why are you using your mouse?

hit Control-C... you're taking forever..."

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why can't you hear Michelle Pfeiffer use the restroom?

Because her pee is silent.

What do you call it when you have enough money to but a truck from 4 different people who used to cross small bodies of water?

You can afford four fjord forders' fords.

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

What did Chris Brown say to Rihanna the first time he saw her?

I'd hit it

What's the last sound you hear before a pube hits the floor?

tppppthh...."spit sound"

Office Jokes More Office Jokes

How to get a job without experience ?

Just run for office!

Why wasn't the plastic surgeon worried about running out of breast implants anytime soon?

He had a large drawer of chests right there in his office.

Haunt Jokes More Haunt Jokes

What do you call ghosts that haunt liquor stores?

Spirits

What do you call a ghost who only haunts the Town Hall?

The nightmayor.

Mouse Jokes More Mouse Jokes

Where are you?

I said to watch him like a hawk! ME: soaring 20m above w/ a beakful of mice I AM

What does Lenny (of Mice and Men) do during foreplay?

Heavy petting.