66+ Funny Mouse Jokes - Curious United

What did the mouse say when his cheese was stolen?

Rats!

Why do mice have such small balls?

Because not very many of them can dance.

What is the best way for a pet shop to get business?

Word of mouse.

What's the definition of innocence?

A nun working in a condom factory thinking she's making sleeping bags for mice.

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, but you have to get them in there first.

Why does vegan cheese taste bad?

It hasnt been tested on mice.

What do you call a mouse with no balls?

Optical.

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It only takes two mice to screw in a light bulb. The hard part is getting them in there.

What do you call a mouse named Bob who's having an existential crisis?

Bob.

What does Lenny (of Mice and Men) do during foreplay?

Heavy petting.

What do you call a mouse with cheese but no crackers?

Cracka-lackin

Why do mice have small balls?

Not many of them know how to dance.

How many mice does it take to screw in a light-bulb?

None. Mice can't change light-bulbs as they are mere rodents without the physical or mental ability to do so. Not to mention it's much safer for them to pilfer food in the dark.

Why did the mouse whisper into the elephant's ear?

The giraffe put him up to it.

What is gray, has a trunk, and big ears?

A mouse going on vacation.

How do you save a drowning mouse ?

Use mouse to mouse resuscitation !

What's the hardest part of milking a mouse ?

Getting it to fit over a bucket !

Why do mice have a hole in their bottoms?

Because otherwise they would be unable to track movement and move the cursor in the computer screen.

Why are you giving a mouse any food?

That's unsanitary.

Who looks after the EuroDisney website?

Mick e-mouse.

Where are you?

I said to watch him like a hawk! ME: soaring 20m above w/ a beakful of mice I AM

What kind of musical instrument do mice play ?

A mouse organ !

Why does an elephant wear sneakers ?

So that he can sneak up on mice !

What does Mickey Mouse do to Minnie Mouse after she drowns and he pulls her out of the water?

Mouse to Mouse resuscitation.

How to you tell the difference between an elephant and a mouse ?

Try picking them up !

What's Invisible and Smells Like Mice?

Cat Farts...

What's the difference between a mouse and a rat?

A: 1 has a less likely chance of survival in the dog pound

What do you get when you put mice in the oven?

Mice crispies.

Why do mice have tiny balls?

Not very many of them know how to dance

How do mice celebrate when they move home ?

With a mouse warming party !

What's the difference between a monster and a mouse?

A monster makes bigger holes in the skirting board.

Why did the computer squeak?

A: Someone stepped on the mouse.

What did the elephant say when it saw the Chihuahuas coming down the road?

Look out for the mice!

What mouse has two legs?

Mickey Mouse. What duck has two legs

Why do mice have long tails ?

Well they'd look silly with long hair !

Why wouldn't the mouse tell the police where he hid the cheese?

Because he's not a rat.

What do mice do when they're at home ?

Mousework !

Why did the cat put the letter "M" into the fridge ?

Because it turns "ice" into "mice" !

What do you get if cross a mouse woth a packet of washing up powder ?

Bubble and squeak !

What did the mouse say to the webcam?

Cheese.

What mouse was a Roman emperor ?

Julius Cheeser !

What do you get when you mix a mouse with some laundry detergent?

Squeaky clean clothes.

Why do mice need oiling ?

Because they squeak !

Who is king of all the mice ?

Mouse Tse Tung !

Why was Cinderella able to surf the web?

Because he footman turned into a mouse.

What do rodents say when they play bingo ?

Eyes down for a full mouse' !

What does a cat call a bowl of mice ?

A purrfect meal !

When is a bad time to cross a black cat?

A: When you are a mouse!

What kind of mouse walks on two legs?

A: Mickey Mouse Q: What kind of duck walks on two legs A: They all do!

How many mice does it takes to screw, in a lightbulb?

Two, as always.

What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk ?

Dirty looks from the mouse !

What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth?

Hard cheese.

Why did the man put cheese on his computer?

A: He wanted to feed the mouse.

What did the keyboard say to the mouse?

stop with the cheesey jokes!

When is it unlucky to see a black cat ?

When your a mouse !

Which game did the cat want to play with the mouse?

A: Catch.

What do you say to a guy who is covered in rodents?

Mice outfit!

What do you call a mouse that can pick up a monster?

Sir.

Why are elephants no good at Net surfing?

Because they're scared of the mouse.

Why do mice have such tiny balls?

Because so few of them can dance!

What did one mouse say to the other mouse?

I get a click out of you.

What goes eek eek bang?

A mouse in a minefield !

When should a mouse carry an umbrella ?

When it's raining cats and dogs !

How do you know a blonde has been using the computer?

A. There is cheese in front of the mouse.

When I'm dead, I'm going to haunt offices and say, "OooOoo... why are you using your mouse?

hit Control-C... you're taking forever..."

What have you tried so far?

Me: Everything IT guy: Me: I shook the mouse a few times and did some swearing